"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
In America we eat man semen.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
