All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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