The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize
