Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
