why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
