I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
