I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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