You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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