you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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