I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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