THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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