I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
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This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
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