You're my little dorito
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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