oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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