haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
