is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
