Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
