Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
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I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
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I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
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