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  • 80 51
    Submitted by bigceaze on Dec 2, 11 at 11:28am

    *gestapo. now I win.

  • 61 46
    Submitted by 5643yeahright on Dec 3, 11 at 10:53pm

    Good old responsible 781 always trying to look out for 617

  • 72 68
    Submitted by pnr on Dec 1, 11 at 10:55am

    I can't see how this could possibly go wrong

  • 68 72
    Submitted by Colonel_Angus on Dec 1, 11 at 4:09pm

    You're?

  • 65 72
    Submitted by nunubeest on Dec 1, 11 at 3:35pm

    I give about 30 seconds before cops are called

  • 58 68
    Submitted by rumorofwar1 on Dec 3, 11 at 12:54am

    This is one of the bests texts I've seen

  • 55 69
    Submitted by miss_whit on Dec 4, 11 at 12:54am

    These texts always make me wonder what the hell are you doing that you are now covered in blood and why are your friends not concerned lol. Eh carpe diem?

  • 54 99
    Submitted by GA_Peach on Dec 1, 11 at 11:17am

    "Dispatch, possible dead hooker at the hilton, I've got a man covered in blood wearing only pajamas, he seems dazed"