i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
