I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize