Pappa wants mamma naked
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
