walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
