So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
