Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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