I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
