two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
