carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I fill condoms, not promises.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
