Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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