When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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