He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
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