Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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