we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Found your dick twin last night
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
