The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
