Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
