And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
