how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Let's get the cat blown out
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
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