I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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