Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
