mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
