if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
