Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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