do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
