Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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