Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Alive.
So much puke
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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