we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
