I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
