Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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