He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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