was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
