HIV tests are more positive than that guy
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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