I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
