It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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