is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
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My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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