3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
