You don't have asthma, your pregnant
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
