sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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