Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
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He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
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I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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