So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
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vagina is talking i cant
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
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We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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