Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
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