North Korea, Best Korea!
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
