you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
He better not be in your backpack
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Randomize
