You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
