butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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