butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
You're my little dorito
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
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