I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
