Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Randomize
