butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
