I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
