I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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