I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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