Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
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Don't worry, you sound slutty enough to have plenty more chances later
No. If that's really the only regret you have in your life, you're doing it exactly right.
Oh please tell me it wasn't a public one?
Fungal infection, huh?
In Boston? Uhhh yeah!
If when you think of regrets, that's what comes to mind, you're doin pretty damn good